| Relationships are sustained by the environment in | | | | reason does not have within it the capacity through |
| which they survive. An abusive relationship is not only | | | | which that interaction can take place in a healthy |
| sustained by the environment in which it survives, it | | | | manner. |
| in turn sustains that environment for its own ends. | | | | Abuse in whatever form should be taken seriously |
| This sustaining of the environment is what makes an | | | | and how one proceed beyond this unfortunate |
| abusive relationship almost a monster of its own - it | | | | situation is clearly a matter of choice based on |
| has a tightly focused agenda that is geared towards | | | | personal values and other situations. This article does |
| fulfilling its own need to be unhealthy and destructive. | | | | not pretend to give any advice on what choices |
| If your relationship is full of despair, frustration, | | | | should be made or are most appropriate. However, |
| unhappiness and resentment, these characteristics | | | | whatever the decision it is very important that the |
| may have been cultivated by the relationship itself | | | | one critical thing that must be understood is that a |
| but what makes an abusive relationship extremely | | | | relationship that has turned abusive loses its own |
| unhealthy is that it feeds off of these same qualities | | | | integrity and is essentially broken by its own |
| and nothing else. The relationship now therefore has | | | | character - disrespect, disregard, a lack of love, and |
| no other purpose but to keep on creating the | | | | most likely selfishness. |
| despair, the frustration, the unhappiness and the | | | | Interpersonal relationships, particularly of the romantic |
| resentment. That is the real nature of an abusive | | | | kind, are extremely valuable to our growth. But while |
| relationship. | | | | even discord can contribute to that growth, the type |
| If you are in an abusive relationship, for the above | | | | of growth that we look for in a relationship is one |
| reasons, apart from the other dangers involved, you | | | | that is the result of harmony. There can hardly be |
| need to quickly change the course of that relationship | | | | any of this in an abusive relationship and for that |
| as its very nature is so corruptive that it cannot help | | | | reason, apart from the other obvious damages done |
| but be destructive to everyone involved. | | | | to each party involved, a relationship of this nature is |
| The only way to fix an abusive relationship is not to | | | | best discarded. |
| try and fix it but to discard it. Understand what is | | | | The issue in an abusive relationship is hardly whether |
| being said here. It is not being suggested that the | | | | to stay or go. The issue is to agree that the |
| interaction between you and your spouse not be | | | | relationship has to be discarded. Going is only one |
| repaired. What is definitely being suggested is that if | | | | way of discarding it. Even if both parties continue the |
| you are to continue with that interaction, the current | | | | interaction, that particular relationship has to go. |
| relationship that has turned abusive for whatever | | | | |