| When I speak of abuse in relationships, I am speaking | | | | be true for some time. |
| of emotional and physical abuse. The recent, more | | | | Physical abuse in a relationship is most often |
| publicized (celebrity cases) are indicative of the fact | | | | manifested during pregnancy. I have cared for |
| that abuse in relationships often have no defining | | | | patients for years, only to learn of abuse in the |
| characteristic such as age, race, financial status or | | | | relationship during a pregnancy. There are many |
| gender. | | | | reasons for this that I will not get into in this article |
| Unfortunately,the circumstances involving an abusive | | | | though some may be obvious to readers, as one |
| act are often confounded by the variables listed | | | | thinks of what the pregnancy symbolizes in a |
| above, when, in fact, the characteristics of an abuser | | | | relationship. |
| more often stem from a history of having been | | | | Bottom line is that it is most important to seek help |
| abused in childhood. | | | | early on. Help is available, don't wait! If you wait, |
| For those who think there is a cure for serious | | | | intervention may only begin after there has been an |
| abusers without intensive therapeutic intervention... | | | | incident serious enough to involve the health care |
| rarely, if ever, is this the case. The characteristics of | | | | system. Lastly, it should be understood that |
| an abuser is most often transparent to the general | | | | psychological abuse is no different than physical |
| public as such individuals disguise their actions behind | | | | abuse though it is unfortunately far more difficult to |
| closed doors and in many cases are not aware of | | | | uncover. |
| the fact (no insight) that they are abusive. | | | | This information is not intended to diagnose, cure or |
| One should not hesitate to seek help when an | | | | treat any illness as such intervention can only come |
| abusive relationship exists. The hope that things will | | | | from one's personal provider. Please note I did not |
| get better in time is rarely the case. Involvement of | | | | mention "prevent" as I often do... as I am hopeful my |
| the perpetrator in counseling is essential, but even | | | | comments may help "prevent" some individuals from |
| more important is that the perpetrator be aware of | | | | getting involved in an abusive relationship. |
| his/her problem. Furthermore, such an individual must | | | | The messages being sent to teens in this day and |
| be willing to seek help, which is by far the most | | | | age are unfortunate. Women fought hard for years |
| difficult task of all. | | | | to gain the respect they deserve and yet, what |
| Like an alcoholic, there is little that can be done for | | | | female teens are willing to put up with as exemplified |
| someone who is in denial or unaware of their | | | | by recent cases in the news are disturbing. |
| problem. Many instances involve an underlying | | | | Teenage girls must demand more respect and yet |
| personality disorder that tragically, does not allow for | | | | this task of educating etc. seems almost |
| the individual to seek intervention as this problem is | | | | insurmountable. The efforts of powerful women in |
| inherent to the psychological condition itself. | | | | the past who gave their lives to empower women's |
| I will leave with an interesting and very concerning | | | | rights is being challenged considerably as I see this |
| statistic about abuse in relationships that I have | | | | clearly in the practice of OB/GYN. |
| witnessed at work for years and has been known to | | | | |