Abusive Relationships and Controlling Behavior - The Right to Decide For Both of Us

Have you ever noticed how it is that some peoplein, because it simply doesn't matter. Remember your
believe they own the right to make decisions thatrelationship world revolves around your controlling
affect both of you? And when you learn a decisionpartner. You are just there for the ride.
has been made without your input, and in some4) The manipulations and covert coercions are the
cases without your knowledge, you feel violated.means to run your abuser's agenda through to the
It's common knowledge that abuse is about control.final decision phase...which you learn about after the
One party bulldozing through choices and decisions isfact, if at all.
simply another part of this control dynamic.5) The punishment and reward system along the
Here are some key elements that you will want toway are the mechanisms for carrying out the
recognize about controlling unilateral decision-makingmanipulations. It's how you are groomed to go along
characteristic of abusive relationships.with what you haven't even had the opportunity to
1) Your partner genuinely believes that he/shebe aware of, understand nor consider.
possess the "right" to make decisions that affectThe long and the short is the controlling partner
both of you.makes decisions that affect both of you. And you
2) Your partner owns this right because it comesare expected to willfully accept any and all
with the throne he/she operates from-theconsequences and implications of his/her unilateral
entitlement vested upon him/her.decision.
3) Your input is not sought after, much less factored