| What's wrong with her for "letting" him talk to her | | | | No. Gradually you are exposed to one assault and by |
| like that? This is the first thought of an outsider | | | | the time you have reconciled it in the context of |
| looking in on an abusive encounter of an abusive | | | | your relationship, another one is delivered. Eventually |
| relationship. | | | | over the years it becomes the wallpaper of your |
| Dr. Phil was interviewing a couple obviously in an | | | | relationship wherein you expect your partner to think, |
| abusive relationship. He asked the woman how she | | | | feel and act in a rude, condescending, overly critical, |
| felt about her husband saying that he was only | | | | unappreciative way. |
| staying in the marriage so he wouldn't have to give | | | | It is introduced gradually over time. I doubt this |
| her child support. When asked how she felt about | | | | woman met her husband and he proposed to her by |
| that, she replied, "I didn't know that." | | | | saying I want to marry you and stay with you so I |
| So again Dr. Phil asked, by saying now you do know, | | | | won't have to pay child support. Get the picture? |
| how do you feel about that? As he is asking the | | | | The real question here is what is wrong with him that |
| camera captures a blank look on the woman's face | | | | he is behaving as such. Moreover, the challenge for |
| and audience shots of folks in shock. If words could | | | | intervention is how can both of these people |
| speak their expression, I'd guess it to be: how can | | | | individually awaken to their toxic relationship and the |
| she let him talk to her like this and have no response. | | | | way in which each supports the status-quo both |
| I would venture to say that this woman has become | | | | consciously and unconsciously. |
| anesthetized to demeaning commentary-void of | | | | If you recognize yourself in this little vignette, look to |
| honoring, dignity and respect-from her partner. Just | | | | the subtle communication patterns of abusive |
| like the way we acclimate to the onset of winter. | | | | relationships. It will help you shine the light on the |
| You don't go from 100 degrees to single digits. | | | | mechanics that sustain its ugliness. |