Abusive Relationship Help - Bullies, Babies and Lack of Boundaries in Abusive Relationships

People seeking to break the cycle of abuse knowthem, verification that you love them... It is a "fix"
the bullies, babies and lack of boundaries in abusivethat says, "Through something you give or show me,
relationships. What they long to understand is, "WhoI'm okay." It's their emotional dependency that gives
are these people, and where do they end and Ithem their baby-like characteristic.
begin?"Where are the Boundaries?
Who are the Bullies?Now here is the part that gets you, as a survivor, in
The bullies are those that want what they wanttrouble. Here is what gets you enmeshed in the cycle
when they want it. And most important to them isof abuse with your bully-baby.
that you are expected to deliver. You heard me.When your bully-baby reaches out aggressively and
They want it from you!abusively, you internalize the aggressive abuse. It
So, on the outside looking in, one may initially seepours in...and colors your day and defines your
them as empowered in their aggression. But the factmoment. And, in some cases, it may even define
is that these aggressions don't emerge out of a placeyou.
of invincibility. To the contrary, they emerge fromThe same thing happens when your spouse's
vulnerability.vulnerable baby-like persona shows up, too. It oozes
Who are the Babies?out from him/her, spilling over into you. It is as
They come from a place of longing what they havethough there are no boundaries individuating you
vested in you. They are the baby part under thefrom your partner, much less your partner from you.
roar. They are the hurting "little one" seeking theirYour recognition of the bullies, babies and lack of
"fix" through you.boundaries in abusive relationships could be your first
The so-called "fix" could be reassurance that you arestep in breaking the cycle of abuse.
not leaving them, confirmation that you care about