| In general there are four indicators that someone is | | | | 4. Your abuser strives dominate you. Abusers have |
| in an emotionally abuse relationship. If you or | | | | an insatiable desire to feel like they are the only ones |
| someone you know can identify with the following | | | | in control all of the time. In order to perpetuate this |
| signs, it's a safe bet that you are not in a healthy, | | | | delusion, they often treat their partners like mere |
| loving relationship. | | | | possessions. They convince themselves that outside |
| 1. You often feel isolated from others and you are | | | | of their relationship, the victim has no intrinsic value |
| often humiliated by your partner. Emotionally abusive | | | | other than his or her ability to make the abuser |
| people look for ways that they can keep their | | | | happy. |
| partners down by making them loathe themselves. In | | | | Emotional abuse is not like physical abuse when it |
| order to make them feel this way, the abusers will | | | | comes to societal stigma, and this may be one of |
| cut off their victims from any means of getting | | | | the reasons that it is ignored so often. In most cases |
| support, whether from family or friends. | | | | even the abuser's victim doesn't feel like she has a |
| 2. You often are blamed for being the cause of the | | | | legitimate complaint to make against her partner and |
| abuse. Emotional abusers never accept or admit that | | | | she will consequently spend months, years, even |
| are doing something wrong, and nothing is ever their | | | | decades in the bad relationship. The reality, however, |
| fault according to them. Instead they blame the | | | | is that emotional abuse leaves different kinds of |
| people they abuse for "making them" be abusive. | | | | scars that are not visible to the human but the |
| They are a fountain of excuses when it comes to | | | | wreak havoc on families, children, and relationships. |
| rationalizing their abusive behavior. The often blame a | | | | The emotional trauma and suffering of this kind of |
| bad childhood or stress for making them act the way | | | | abuse can take years to recover from. |
| they do. | | | | It doesn't have to be this way though. There are |
| 3. You abuser constantly looks for effective ways to | | | | people out there who want to help you move on |
| intimidate you. Emotionally abusive people routinely | | | | and once again find your self-confidence and |
| threaten their partners in order to get their own way. | | | | self-worth. Moving toward a place of empowerment |
| They probably won't resort to actual physical | | | | is ideal and it can be achieved from something as |
| violence, but they are not above making threats of | | | | simple as learning a martial art with self defense |
| physical violence to get what they want. Their | | | | videos or a Self Defense DVD. Find a new joy and |
| pattern is to use guilt, shame, and fear to intimidate | | | | take time for it whether it is joining a gym, a garden |
| others and make them feel like there is no way out | | | | club, or a group therapy session. |
| of the bad relationship. | | | | |