| If you find yourself fighting a restraining order as part | | | | temporary order because it was granted at an "ex |
| of sly divorce tactics by your ex, it's usually because | | | | parte" hearing without your attendance; this turns |
| a lawyer has been telling her how to win a custody | | | | into a permanent restraining order only at a second |
| battle as fast as possible. | | | | court hearing a few weeks later, where you are |
| Unfortunately for you, false allegations of abuse - | | | | given the chance to defend yourself. If you know |
| created with the sole intention of swiftly obtaining | | | | the process involved, you'll be prepared for it, and |
| child custody and higher maintenance payments - | | | | the possibility that you get to see your children again |
| aren't very straightforward to dismiss. | | | | is massively increased. |
| This article has been written so that you undertake | | | | Another example is that you should be aware of the |
| three critical steps when you're fighting a restraining | | | | implications of fighting a restraining order against your |
| order, so you have the best chance to win back | | | | name. These things show up on the National Crime |
| your right to see your kids grow up. | | | | Information Center registry (NCIC), which means that |
| #1 Don't Break The Order | | | | any time someone runs a background check on you, |
| If you are fighting an order and you break its terms, | | | | you'll have a marker against your name. This can |
| it's a criminal offense. Despite the original order | | | | cause huge delays at customs in airports, for |
| against you being considered a civil case, if you | | | | example. |
| contact your ex, you will usually be arrested. | | | | The moment I won my custody battle (and had the |
| For example, sending flowers, or calling to wish your | | | | restraining order rescinded), tonnes of extra checks |
| son a happy birthday will normally be considered | | | | disappeared overnight when I took my next monthly |
| criminal violations of the restraining order. | | | | business trip. They always told me the extra checks |
| Don't worry, despite judges erring on the side of | | | | were random, and wouldn't give any detail, but being |
| caution when it comes to granting restraining orders, | | | | pulled for extra luggage inspection every month |
| there is common sense when the police deal with | | | | without fail for three years, and then nothing in the |
| whether to arrest you. If you are in the | | | | next five, tell me that officials pay more attention to |
| supermarket, and you bump into your ex, and move | | | | restraining orders at customs than they'll admit. |
| to speak to her, you may be arrested. But if you see | | | | #3 Get Good Help, Now |
| her, try to walk out immediately, and she starts to | | | | I know I needed a better lawyer when I had to |
| hurl abuse whilst blocking your path and calling the | | | | remind mine of my oldest son's name several times. |
| police on her cellphone, they may ask witnesses | | | | One of those occasions was just two days after our |
| around the store; as long as you acted within the | | | | meeting to discuss how to negotiate his declining |
| order terms by trying to leave immediately, you | | | | behavior at school with my ex when it came to |
| should be fine. | | | | visiting the school. |
| #2 Actively Learn About The Restraining Order | | | | If you get warning signals like that from your lawyer, |
| Process | | | | you need to take control of the case and fire him |
| You need to learn about what to expect whilst | | | | now. Either start learning the legal process in as much |
| you're fighting an order, so that you can be two | | | | detail as you can, perhaps with the help of guides |
| steps ahead of your ex. If she's willing to file a false | | | | and charities who specialise in this stuff, or get a |
| restraining order based on phony abuse allegations, | | | | good recommended lawyer who deals with these |
| you can be she has more tactics up her sleeve. | | | | cases every day of the week. |
| For example, you should be aware of the type of | | | | Losing the chance to see your kids grow up is too |
| restraining order against you. The initial restraining | | | | precious to leave to chance - take control of it now. |
| order is often referred to as an "ex parte" | | | | |