AbuseAtHome

I consider myself lucky to live where I do. It is in a "55+" community. I have come to realize that is a new euphemism for "not quite ready for assisted living." Most of the occupants of the hundred and twenty apartments in my building either have home healthcare or are getting ready for it. Probably 20 percent of them are on oxygen. So if you're a smoker cross our building off your list. The most rapidly growing population segment in the United States is our seniors. The proliferation of assisted care, nursing homes and what other names you want to call it is skyrocketing. Here in Colorado Springs it seems like a new one is going up every week with a waiting list to get in. There are other options...

When a restraining order is served against you, it's usually an upsetting and shocking event. Many people don't know what will happen during the order being served, never mind how to go about effectively fight it. This article is meant to explain some of those things, and give you ideas about further sources of help. Firstly, when an order is served in the USA, it can vary as to who appears at your door. Typically, uniformed police officers from a local station will appear, but it may also be county sheriffs. The serving is always done in person. They do not take into account what or who might overhear the discussion, for example, if you have guests for dinner or room-mates with you. It's usually a...

One of the best things you can do when hit with a false allegations restraining order is to develop a well written rebuttal. Start off by obtaining a copy of the hearing transcript and then, with a clear head, begin putting together your letter to the courts to appeal the process. Here are some tips on how to formulate a level headed response. State what you are responding to, the date of the hearing and if you or your counsel were present. Also state if there was a court reporter present. State right up front that the allegations were wrong and made without testimony or evidence if this was the case. Clearly state what you are accused of and the rights you are being denied. Here is an example: I...

Restraining orders are orders of protection that legally bind someone from having contact with or otherwise coming near another individual. This protection order is used to keep people that are having problems with one another apart. If you are afraid for your safety, then obtaining a legal form of order is one part of the process to protect yourself. Terms of such orders vary from state to state, and different things do apply. Some rules are common to all of them. The following information generally applies to all restraining orders. Restraining orders are enforced with very strict rules, and violating an order can have very stiff penalties. The charges one might incur if they violate a restraining...

During a divorce custody case, you may end up fighting a restraining order. Whilst not strictly ethical, it's the norm for divorce lawyers to suggest the strategic filing of an abuse allegation which grants an order on the thinnest of grounds. This has the effect of granting your ex immediate custody of the kids, and makes it much harder to focus on the wider custody battle. Basically, whilst you're swamped with paperwork, trying to figure out how to fight a restraining order, the custody arrangements battle is taking place - and, often, these decisions will determine the custody situation for many years ahead. As a result, many fathers find themselves wondering how a temporary restraining order...

Relationship that involve physical, verbal or emotional abuse can be extremely difficult to deal with. They are hard on the family, friends and most importantly the victim. Any cases of having abused your ex can leave them feeling absolutely violated and in great pain. It is important to know that you have a big issue to deal with, and you must make some serious changes in your life before you think about doing anything else. Here is a step-by-step process to go about getting your ex back. Deal With Your Issues- If you have been physically, verbally, emotionally abusive you must adress the core issue of your problem. Anger, jealousy, misunderstanding, resentment are some of the worst emotions that...

Letting go of an abusive partner is surprisingly one of the toughest choices that victims of abuse will eventually make. Victims are often unaware of the unhealthy turn of their relationship and tend to stay trapped in it unless concerned family members and friends bail them out. An abuser may develop the attitude that the abuse that they are exposed to is normal, or even deserved, but it is not. If you have recently realized that you are in a relationship that is not healthy, you may be considering leaving. Here, I will provide information on leaving an abusive relationship. If you are looking on leaving an abusive relationship, you will go through several phases. It is important to know and...

Abusive relationships are a very difficult situation for any person to find themselves in. The facts about abusive relationships are not as well known to people as they should be. Abusive relationships can be verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, and/or physically abusive. Victims of abuse are typically women, but men are increasingly reporting abuse. All forms of abuse occur in all ethnic or socio-economic groups. Warning Signs Some of the warning signs of a person who can become abusive are people who feel wronged by world, feel that everything is everyone else's fault, have a history of physical aggression, who have significant issues of anger management, have a history of drug or alcohol abuse...

  Living a life of abuse tremendously affects a person's soul. In a relationship nothing is perfect, but physical or mental abuse there is just no excuse for it. I'm writing this article based on real facts, not statistics or from a news story. I have not been abused myself, but other's around me close loved one's have and believe me even though it is not easy for them, it is not easy for me because I have to either witness it or hear it. Mental abuse I have been around a family member and her boyfriend and from a distance you would think, they are a nice couple. But close up you can completely see the terror, the anger and the frustration. In this relationship he is the one being mentally abused...

When I speak of abuse in relationships, I am speaking of emotional and physical abuse. The recent, more publicized (celebrity cases) are indicative of the fact that abuse in relationships often have no defining characteristic such as age, race, financial status or gender. Unfortunately,the circumstances involving an abusive act are often confounded by the variables listed above, when, in fact, the characteristics of an abuser more often stem from a history of having been abused in childhood. For those who think there is a cure for serious abusers without intensive therapeutic intervention... rarely, if ever, is this the case. The characteristics of an abuser is most often transparent to the general...

How to get over an emotionally abusive relationship is your next step to getting your life back on track. A narcissistic partner will continue to abuse you unless you put a stop to it.Regardless of physical or emotional abuse, no one has the right to make you feel inferior much more to experience being stripped off your self worth and confidence. The first move is always hard to make so you should hold your head up for being able to walk away from the abuse. Now you think to yourself how much further can you actually go in healing and empowering yourself. You can do it just like the others who have successfully done so. Fear of failure and uncertainty will keep you enslaved unless you trust that a...

Women know that if they cry wolf, help will come. Especially when it comes to possible abuse or violence against her or your children. Whether the case regarding the allegations is true or not, this is something that the courts do not take lightly, and will immediately place the child with Child Protection Services or temporary custody with the non-custodial parent, depending on the severity of the situation and the claims. However, when fighting these orders, there are a few things to consider. - If the ex has a restraining order against you, be careful of any attempts she makes to get near you, even if she says she's "swinging by to pick up some of the children's things." This will automatically...

Filing false restraining orders as a divorce tactic has become more & more prevalent as divorce has become more of a cottage industry. That means if you are a man going through a messy divorce your chances of being hit with a restraining order have dramatically increased, whether or not your behavior is deserving of such a charge. Learn why this is happening & what you can do if you are among the increasing number of men being served with false restraining orders. First let us examine why filing false restraining orders is becoming so prevalent in divorce cases. Because of the relatively small amount of men who abuse or mistreat their spouses, our legal system is often manipulated in the...

If you find yourself fighting a restraining order as part of sly divorce tactics by your ex, it's usually because a lawyer has been telling her how to win a custody battle as fast as possible. Unfortunately for you, false allegations of abuse - created with the sole intention of swiftly obtaining child custody and higher maintenance payments - aren't very straightforward to dismiss. This article has been written so that you undertake three critical steps when you're fighting a restraining order, so you have the best chance to win back your right to see your kids grow up. #1 Don't Break The Order If you are fighting an order and you break its terms, it's a criminal offense. Despite the original order...

You may not consider first few dates to be important in avoiding people who may drag you to an abusive relationship. Well it is imperative that you take precautions on first few dates you should be observant of the person you are dating. If you notice something wrong, then it is best to discontinue seeing the person. You may find it convenient to date anyone you may find pleasing to you as they may appear. But you need to be very vigilant about this because this will become your problem later on if you disregard the signs. In avoiding abusive relationships you should be very observant of people you are dating, scrutinize how they treat you. Take note of how much the person is trying to impress you...

Though there are not any relationships on the earth that are excellent, you may consider lots of them fabulously flawed. I'd think a perfect relationship might be one thing of a bore. In the event you don't argue now and again, or have a unique viewpoint, issues may stagnate. The last thing you want is for the eagerness to fizzle away. There is asuperb line between a wholesome argument and falling into the entice of abusive relationships. Most of those relationships begin out okay, however in the end one of many parties is injured and the affects can be lengthy lasting. Abusive relationships aren't always about physical abuse, and they don't all the time occur between love partners. Typically this...

Emotional abuse can be insidious and more difficult to identify than physical abuse, which can leave obvious marks. Often, the victim is unaware that it is occurring, and finds him or herself believing the he or she is inferior, worthless, incapable, and even crazy, and that the partner could be right and reasonable to criticize and control the victim's behavior. Over time the victim may feel as if he or she does not have the strength or resources to leave the emotional abuser, and is unable to break away. Here are 5 signs of emotional abuse in a relationship: 1. Criticism comes your way from your partner on a regular basis. Put downs are common, but it can also be as subtle as "suggestions...

This week a couple of women have asked me: "Is there any point in trying to move on, when I am still stuck in the relationship?" It's not hard to understand where they are coming from. When a relationship has left you feeling utterly drained and powerless, just dragging yourself through your 'normal' day can be hard enough. So how can you possibly hope to find the strength to take on all the challenges that ending the relationship will bring? How will you face up to the enormous concerns you have on all possible fronts? I remember that time in my life well. I remember the questions I asked myself obsessively about a future without him. There were no good answers, only a paralysing fear, and the...

Unfortunately, even in our modern society, men and women everywhere in the country are the victims of an abusive marriage. The worst part is that many of these victims don't see themselves as such, because they either do not know the signs or they will not admit to themselves that they are being abused. If you suspect that you are in an abusive marriage, you should think about what is at stake by staying in an unhealthy relationship and consider hiring a divorce lawyer. What Is Abuse? One of the biggest problems with abuse in this country is that many people do not realize that they are the victims of it. It can be difficult to step back and fairly assess the health of your relationship, especially...

"When I'm distressed by your inconsiderate actions with respect to me and I point this out to you, a door opens for another round of you demonstrating your superiority with respect to me. If you're in an abusive relationship, you probably know how this looks and feels. Read on and see if you recognize these subtle communication patterns of domestic abuse and signs of an abusive relationship. Your Attempt to Share Your Objections and the Diversion Control Tactic Even though you may not be accustomed to being forthright in your abusive relationship, you step up to the plate and put your distress and objections out for your partner to digest. You hope that by sharing what you have observed and how it...

Domestic violence among teenagers, who are also young adults, is nothing new to the world. If you do a quick check, you will find that in the 1980s, they are several films dealing with this matter. In recent months though, this matter has been in the forefront of media coverage, forcing us as a society to deal with it or to ignore it. For many persons, the solution to abuse in a romantic relationship is to break off the relationship, keep away from the other person and report the mistreatment to the police if necessary. However, repeatedly, victims of this crime are shouting that this is not as easy as it sounds. Therefore, if you are a parent of a young adult who is in this situation, several...

If I tell you that something you have done is disturbing or unacceptable to me, and you reply attacking me...then we are in trouble, and so is our relationship. Abusive relationships are fertile ground for this kind of interaction. The perpetrator does not bring empathy to the interaction and cannot see what is presented from their partner's experience. Instead, all that is heard is a "criticism." With the perceived criticism on the table, discomfort sets in...precipitating a reflexive externalization of blame and, in some cases, an outright assault upon the "criticizer." The reply may be one in which the perpetrator tells the victim that their perceptions are inaccurate. Or he/she may tell the...

Lack of emotional safety is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being. When you have emotional safety, it's palatable. You can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it's missing, you may feel its loss. Or, you may simply know of it not being there by the presence of these five glaring signs. 1) Not honoring your privacy. If something is in a drawer, it's in a drawer out from public display. Someone having no business in that drawer may be drawn to explore its contents. Beware of the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. 2) Not respecting your boundaries. If you say "no," will it be...

Are you in an intimate relationship where violence is a part of your exchange? Does one or the other of you lash out physically toward the other? Do you want it to stop? There is lots of information out there about intimate partner violence. Just Google the term and today there were 4,680,000 entries on the topic. Many offer research, explanations, opinions and advice. I am not here to argue for you to stay or get out of a relationship where you are inflicting or receiving violence in your relationship. What I do want you to do, however, is look at your motivation and decide if your behavior and your choices are going to lead you in the direction you want to go for your life. Violence Users: Are you...

If you are a teenager and you are not sure about if you are in an abusive relationship with a boy or a girl, these few signs are aimed at helping you in seeing a clearer picture. Hurt you Physically If the person who you are in a relationship with physically hurts you (and there is no exception to this rule) this is called physical abuse. If he occasionally pushes you into the lockers or the wall, or if she slaps you in the face, especially when she is upset about something, this is, abuse. Threaten to Hurt you If your boyfriend threatens to hurt you or himself, something is wrong. Sometimes he may say, "If you leave me, I am going to kill myself," or, "if you leave me, I'm going to kill you...

I often hear people scoff at women for staying in an abusive situation. They don't understand why anyone would stay. It doesn't seem that hard to leave. Just walk out the door. Surely they haven't lost the capability of turning a doorknob and walking out?! I understand their disbelief. With all of the available programs for abused women, it seems they have many options. But maybe it's not as clear-cut as it seems from the outside. As a person who has been in that situation, I can shed some light on the reasons a woman may have for staying. Sometimes it sneaks up on you. It's one instance of abuse in an otherwise good relationship. It mounts little by little and you make excuses that they aren't...

You can put together a personal safety plan so you can keep yourself safe from your abuser. One plan deals with what to do when in the middle of an altercation. The next plan gives you some tips on how to prepare to leave your abusive partner plus what to take with you. Also, you will need a plan in place to make sure that once you leave, he doesn't come anywhere near you. During an Altercation If you are in the middle of an altercation with your abusive partner, try to be in a room that you can easily leave the house from, like a living room that is next to the front door or near a back door. Do not get yourself cornered into a bathroom where there is no escape. Also, stay away from the kitchen...

I'm writing this article to help the thousands of American fathers out there who are fighting a restraining order so that they can win a custody battle during their separation or divorce proceedings. First of all, I'm here to give you a clear warning about the biggest problem you'll be facing. It's that if your ex has decided to fight dirty by filing a temporary restraining order against you, or made phony abuse allegations in court, it's just the start of the games that she has up her sleeves to make your life hell. And there is no lack of lawyers willing to educate her, if not. Some lawyers have fathers fighting a restraining order as a standard procedure - it doesn't matter to them that there is...

Abusive relationships are not always so easy to spot right off the bat. Particularly if the relationship is not physically abusive, you may be torn about whether you or a loved one are currently involved in one. The best way to make the determination about whether you are or are not involved in an abusive relationship, though, is to watch out for the signs of an abusive relationship. You can look out for these signs whether the person involved in the relationship which is possibly abusive is you, or perhaps another family member, friend, or other loved one. One sign of an abusive or controlling relationship is that the abuser cuts the victim off from members of their family and their previous social...

This is a question that comes up a lot. It's hugely frustrating, as well as difficult and painful to watch someone you care about struggle in the quicksand of an abusive relationship. It's frustrating because we can see all the things that they can't. We'd love to help them - which probably means getting them to adopt the solution that we know is right. But they don't see it, and they're not going to do it. It's difficult because you start to feel like you're caught up in Groundhog Day. They reach the point of leaving, they may well even leave... and then the whole thing goes around again, and again. Maybe the same partner, maybe a different one. But you hear the same story again and again. In...

When discussing divorce rights for fathers, advice on fighting a restraining order usually rears its ugly, expensive head. That's because, unfortunately in today's society, in most divorce cases where a father is trying to win a custody battle, a common legal tactic is to file a restraining order against the dad involved. However, the problems involved are immediately apparent to the victim of phony allegations, including that: - your ex will have immediate control of child custody - there is then a potential to increase maintenance payments - it causes extra pain, hassle and embarrassment to her ex-partner It sometimes feels like you're being tied up and manipulated by your ex. Knowing what will...

In today's political climate, divorce has become a cottage industry & one result has been a huge increase in the filing of false restraining orders in divorce cases. Most often, this affects the man in the divorce. If you are in this situation, you must learn how to beat a restraining order if you are to have any future contact with your children & save your reputation. This article will get you pointed in the right direction. Do not make the mistake of being unprepared. The road to defending yourself is full of pitfalls, any one of which could land you in jail! One single false accusation from your spouse can have you hit with a false restraining order & subject to criminal prosecution...

When discussing divorce rights for fathers, advice on fighting a restraining order usually rears its ugly, expensive head. That's because, unfortunately in today's society, in most divorce cases where a father is trying to win a custody battle, a common legal tactic is to file a restraining order against the dad involved. However, the problems involved are immediately apparent to the victim of phony allegations, including that: - your ex will have immediate control of child custody - there is then a potential to increase maintenance payments - it causes extra pain, hassle and embarrassment to her ex-partner It sometimes feels like you're being tied up and manipulated by your ex. Knowing what will...

In today's political climate, divorce has become a cottage industry & one result has been a huge increase in the filing of false restraining orders in divorce cases. Most often, this affects the man in the divorce. If you are in this situation, you must learn how to beat a restraining order if you are to have any future contact with your children & save your reputation. This article will get you pointed in the right direction. Do not make the mistake of being unprepared. The road to defending yourself is full of pitfalls, any one of which could land you in jail! One single false accusation from your spouse can have you hit with a false restraining order & subject to criminal prosecution...

I'm going to tell you an important fact about winning child custody, because not a lot of people believe it: Fathers win custody of their kids every day of the week. There's some dad out there right now who's just been informed of just that outcome, maybe in your state, maybe in your home town... and you can be one of them. I've written this article to answer the direct question of "can a father win custody of his children if he is fighting a restraining order?", and to offer a bit of light at the end of the tunnel with practical suggestions about how this can be achieved. Too many fathers think that the legal case is hopeless before they even begin to mount a defense; your kids only grow up once...

When you feel empowered, you are centered, think clearly and make wise decisions. You are connected to your core strength and face the world with confidence. But some will try to knock you off-center, so that you are no longer able to tap into your core. If they are successful, you will feel panicked, unable to think clearly, or misplaced guilt. It will be difficult to assert yourself and you may find yourself engaging in unwarranted second-guessing or self-blame. When this happens, step back, look to the person or situation evoking these reactions and ask why does he want me to feel so weak? Chances are, that person WANTS you to feel that way. They want to disable your ability to think rationally...

Emotionally abusive relationships are damaging and may have lingering effects due to the programming that occurs. It is not surprising that self esteem suffers and victims question their own self worth. After all, your partner, the one who is supposed to love you and be your greatest ally, has been communicating to you that you are inferior, incapable, and perhaps even crazy or mentally unstable yourself. It is not uncommon to wonder if the abuser is right in his or her assessment, even if your rational side tells you it is wrong. Removing yourself from such a relationship can do many positive things for your mental state of being, especially when you take good care of yourself and surround yourself...

Through thousands of anecdotal cases documented for forty years and also tracing the legal history of mental illness from the late 1940s, Dr. Torrey, an eminent psychiatrist, effectively makes the connecting link between a percent of people afflicted with mental illness who are at risk of violent behavior. Schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and severe depression are Dr. Torrey's targeted mental health areas. A portion of this population does not acknowledge their illness, do not take their medication and frequently abuse alcohol and drugs. It is this segment of mentally ill persons who most often display, or are at risk of, dangerous and violent behavior. It is also this segment of mentally ill persons...

Today we live in a world where violence, repression and fanaticism of all kinds threaten all around in the world. People constantly experience nightmares when they are jolted into the fact that the seemingly safe world has now turned into a volatile dark alley. Violence is now a fact of life even in the most liberal democracies of the world and living on this planet has never become more difficult and daunting. Such a world of latent and explicit violence, oppression, fanaticism and mass destruction forms the spiritual setting of Pinterland. Harold Pinter is one of the rare dramatists who is openly voicing against American domination, proliferation of the weapons of mass destruction and acts of...

If you are a human resources, risk management, or crisis management director concerned about workplace violence, let me ask you a question: Why do you think violent people lash out when and where they do? Have you ever thought about that? Have you ever wondered why the people who commit violent acts... - Choose the victims they do? - Act out when they do? Or... - Choose the location they do? There are three factors which contribute to a workplace violence act of aggression. Regardless of whether we're talking about an act of violence in the workplace, domestic violence, or any other assault, the three factors are: - The assailant's personality type and predisposition toward violence - Contributing...

Nursing homes have a growing reputation for being unsuccessful and unhealthy environments for elders. Part of this is due to negligence, fraudulent practices, incompetence, and lack of training. The adverse effect on the health of the elders is terrible and if you have decided to entrust the care of your loved one to an assisted living facility, it is crucial for you to conduct thorough research on any institution you are considering. If you suspect your elder has suffered pain or emotional abuse because of the negligent care of a nursing home attendant, it is very important for you to confirm contact law enforcement as quickly as possible to make sure that any abuse or neglect is stopped as quickly...

Not all relationships are full of love or even trying to fix the relationship. How many couples out there are out in public with smiles on and speaking with one another and when you are at home, you barely look at each other? There's abusive speech, shoving, pushing, lying, cheating and sneaking around to name only a few. We naturally because of our human pride and not wanting people to pry know how to hide grief on our faces. Outside people can't see the sadness that exists behind those eyes. Others cannot see how mentally and physically drained you are. It is so unfortunate that you won't talk or seek help. Actually you shun help and avoid talking. Even making those you may choose to speak with...

What fathers are fighting a restraining order during a custody case, the renewal of the order's date is important to remember. It might sound obvious, but in this article I'm going to explain why YOU need to take the greatest of care not to let this date pass you by, or underestimate its importance. When you're fighting a restraining order, it's incredibly easy to let the court hearing slip by, un-noticed, or fail to prepare some simple, crucial steps for your defense. Fighting a restraining order can be a harrowing process, and you're going to feel a lot of pressure - that's especially true if you're also going through a legal divorce, as well as trying to win a custody battle and fight a...

When you're fighting a restraining order that's been filed against you as part of a divorce custody battle, the last thing you might think could happen is that the plaintiff (your ex) harasses YOU in return. You might not even be able to come up with a reason why your ex would contact you if she's gone to the effort to get a lawyer and attend a court hearing. But make no mistake: because of the increasing number of cases where a father is fighting a restraining order as part of manipulative "divorce tactics", there is no end to the legal strategies which can be employed by an ex determined to make your life hell. This article aims to briefly explain why these strategies are used, and provides some...

Some readers may be confused about how they end up fighting a restraining order during divorce proceedings, because they aren't aware of the various options available to a manipulative ex. It's a good idea to know what your ex might be planning as part of her divorce maneuvers, such as options involving restraining orders, so you can be prepared with counter-moves. Option #1: Fighting A Restraining Order Regardless Of The Divorce This option involves your ex filing a phony restraining order against you so that she gets immediate custody of children, has the option to request higher maintenance payments, and causes trouble at customs or with your employer. It is filed as a separate procedure to the...

When fighting a restraining order during a custody battle, one of the most important points of the case will be the court hearing which will decide whether or not your temporary restraining order (TRO) becomes permanent (known as a PRO). Besides any preparation or legal advice that you might choose to take for your defense, I'm going to share a tip that far too many fathers forget: how your conduct can help decide the outcome of the case. I'm talking about: - Your composure - Your appearance - Your reliability These points might sound obvious, but when we break them down they do affect a judge's opinion of you, and no matter how sound your legal argument is when you're fighting a restraining order...

It's a crime that shows up quite often in the news media—employees and other innocent victims being killed at the hands of robbers, coworkers, and customers during an ugly act of criminal violence.  According to data provided by the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), workplace violence is the leading cause of death among employees after transportation- and fall-related incidents.   Today's current statistics continue to illustrate this ugly picture:   - More than 2 employees are killed each day as a result of workplace violence.   - 17% of workplace murders are committed by coworkers and customers/clients.   - 75% of workplace murders are committed by thieves and theft-related crimes.   In...

Many women live in a relationship that is physically abusive. The question is why? Are they not realizing that the relationship is abusive? Do they get any positive result from that relationship? Do they fear hurting their partner by leaving? Why don't they retaliate or walk out? How do they come in this situation of getting abused? When it began, why did they not realize? One can ask many questions about abusive relationships without getting an answer. Let us discuss this. Let us look at a relationship. It began well. After some months, abuse began. It was very small and at long intervals. The woman thought that abuse was not inherent in the nature of her partner and that with time it would stop...

If you have had the bad experience of being beaten down in a relationship, you must remember that you are not the only one and even worse things than this happens to people. Many people fall a prey to depression if they have had an abusive relationship. They indulge in self pity and constantly torture themselves even when the association is over. However, there are many ways you can forget about such abusive experiences and start a new life. Here are some suggestions that can help you take a brand new start and get over depression pertaining to abusive relationships. Firstly, you should put an end to negative self-talk. This way one prolongs the experience which is over in reality. You also need to...