AbuseAtHome

A fact is a fact. Memory is a fact. War is a fact. Unfortunately for many veterans the latter two facts collide. Every soldier at some point leaves the battlefield, but the battlefield never leaves the soldier. After soldiers return state side, and stand down from 24/7 battle readiness, vivid images of missions they experienced begin to flash in their minds. These mental images are normal and are termed "flashbacks". Neurological research has proven that the brain processes traumatic memory differently than non-traumatic memory. The human brain's job in reference to non-traumatic memory is that of order and closure. Simply put, the brain receives all the information from an event; it processes all...

What if I get in trouble again while I am on bail: a Massachusetts analysis. A common question asked by many clients. For the sake of simplicity, let us call the court of the first proceeding that initially set bail "The First Court" and the court where the subsequent arrest was arraigned "The Second Court." In short, the second court may revoke the bail set by the first court and the defendant may be held in custody without bail for up to 60 days or until the first proceeding is resolved. The second court only has the power to revoke bail. It may not modify it or add conditions of release. To quote the Massachusetts law that gives the second court this power, a defendant who is arrested while on...

The New International Webster's Standard Dictionary says the word forgive means to pardon or to overlook. The majority of people has had someone at some point in his or her life mistreat them in some way or form. Now let me ask you, are you in the majority? Have you had anyone mistreat you in some form or way? If you answered yes to those two questions, then my next question is have you forgiven the person or persons that mistreated you? If you haven't forgiven, now is the time to forgive the people that you need to forgive. Even if the person or persons that offended you are not on earth anymore, God still requires you to forgive him, her, or them. The New International Webster's Standard...

Spiritual help...using spiritual support...like therapeutic support....has its place in ministry interventions. But...the generally supportive minister will support the incompetency of the troubled person...and at the same time support their competent thinking and behavior. This creates subconscious contradictory messages for both minister and the one ministered to. When a minister gives spiritual help by using supportiveness selectively to help a troubled person obtain some outcome or goal...then the spiritual support will most likely bring desired results. However, many helpful ministers want to appear to others to be supportive and encouraging. But this has to do with developing the minister's...

I was having a conversation with an old friend. The conversation was lackluster and so were we. For different reasons both of us were struggling with a profound sense of loss. Any sense of loss, as we all know, feeds into every sense of loss we have ever known. My friend, who is more of a True Brit Stiff-Upper-Lip person than I am, said: "Well, you just have to get on with it, don't you?" My answer to my friend was that 'getting on with it' stinks. It's what we've all been taught to do. Yet we know it doesn't work particularly well. You know, I know, pretty well everyone who isn't eyeball deep in denial knows, that it doesn't work. It doesn't work because what you resist, persists. 'Getting...

"Trust your abilities; you have what it takes to succeed. Your self-confidence just hasn't caught up yet." I wish I had penned these words, because I guess I have spent years trying to convey as pithily to abused women that they already possess what they need to have a happy life; their self-belief just hasn't caught up yet. But it wasn't me, it was Pamela Gilberd, author of "The 11 Commandments of Wildly Successful Women". Ultimately, what's important is not who wrote them, but that the people who need to hear them truly heed them. Abused women are a strange group in that, if you say anything positive and complimentary about them, they are Teflon coated. It slides straight off them. "Ah, yes but...

All couples experience problems and challenges in their relationships. These helpful tips are necessary and should be applied so as to help build healthy love relationships and prepare for the challenges along the way. The following tips may assist you with enhancing the love relationships in your life; 1. Create Special Time - to connect with your spouse or partner, to share thoughts ofappreciation through words, actions or deeds. 2. Listening - can be a wonderful gift to your loved one - don't forget to be attentive and present when interacting with that special person. 3. Schedule Date Night - each week, so that you and your special love have uninterrupted time to stay connected. You can have a...

Parents and pre-schoolers with ADHD saw considerable improvement after behavioral interventions, a new intervention study shows. Parents received educational classes that focused on parenting skills, understanding child behavior and child safety. Individualized, at-home interventions and group therapy techniques were used over a one-year period, which led to a decrease in behavioral problems and an increase in social skills. Many children and parents need a little extra help getting acclimated to the traditional school system. After all, no one is born the perfect parent! Often, children who need a behavioral intervention suffer from ADHD, autism, dyslexia or another pervasive developmental disorder...

Your spouse can continue cheating on you for a long time if you constantly ignore the signs of extra marital affairs. Your relationship may worsen even more if you let your spouse abuse you. If you are noticing any strange behavior and if you think that your spouse is hiding something from you then you should investigate this matter. You can find out the details of the strange phone numbers through a genuine reverse phone search site. I am sure you may have heard about this term many times. This directory helps you to locate all the private and public phone numbers within two minutes. You can even get the precise details of the international callers through a simple reverse phone search. First sign...

Does your once happy marriage seem to be falling apart? No matter what you do, nothing seems to be helping? Many couples struggle with this problem. The good news is that most of these couples are able to solve their marital problems, and go on to have a happy marriage again. Here are three ways to do just that. 1. You don't have to win every argument. Since marriages are a union of two people, arguments happen. Two people, no matter how much they love each other, simply cannot agree all of the time. If you are the spouse who has to win every argument, take a step back. Some things can be let go. Everyone has their own opinion of things and situations. What you may see as 'right', your spouse may...

Violence against women has been a troubling issue in most parts of the world for as far back as history is long, it seems. However, a disturbing trend that sees females fighting each other has emerged as of late, and this has been accompanied by a lot of interest in terms of female fight scenes both staged and real appearing on the internet for public viewing. While this may be attributed to a few isolated instances of female fighting being captured on tape and posted on the internet, statistics show that there is an actual increase in reported female fights in many countries. I believe that there are reasons for this uptick in woman on woman violence, and intend to explore these reasons in this...

"> Modern day dentists are no longer those who only take out your teeth. Advances in technology and medical sciences have enabled them to bring revolution in areas of general and cosmetic dentistry. People don’t just go to dentists for filling cavities or cleaning teeth, they also visit dentists for teeth whitening, dental bonding, veneer and fixing implants. Dr. Gary Ellenbogen DDS, Vienna dentist who has been honored by the Consumer Research Council as Top Dentist for the year 2009, is an expert in general and cosmetic dentistry. He is member of the Northern Virginia Dental Society and American Dental Association. Cosmetic dentistry being his area of special interest, he is closely...

How do you know when it's over and its time to call it quits? There are those little tell tale signs, like you don't feel excited when he gets home anymore, instead you are wondering what is he going to complain about now, will it be dinner, or will it be that you haven't washed the dishes or the house looks untidy. This is when you know you are in trouble and should decide whether you want to try and make it work or you have reached the end and you just know in your heart that it's over. The reason most couples stay in a relationship is for the children's sake. This is just so bad for them and it does not help the children at all because most probably they will be arguing with each other all the...

Divorce laws are legislated in countries all over the world with more and more governments creating and improving these laws constantly. Marriage is no longer considered something that lasts forever, a sacred and unbreakable thing. Statistics show that roughly half of all marriages end in divorce, and now such things as "starter marriages" are perfectly acceptable practices. With instances of spousal abuse and adultery on the rise, so is the rate of divorce. Similarly, few households employ traditional roles in these modern days. Unlike thirty years ago, it is common for both adults in a home to work full time jobs to support themselves and their household. Being Fair To Both Parties Covering just...

There are many jobs that may require you to use this kind of reverse cell phone look up service. When you start this kind of job there may be things that you will need to know. Here are some ideas to help get you started. Why You May Use A Reverse Look up There are many reasons that you may use a reverse cell phone look up service. If you are looking for a certain person this may be one of the first things that you will be doing. When you are looking for a person because you are a private investigator or you have a good reason with your job, then you should not feel any pressure as far as not doing it. This is your job and you need to look up people to help with the job that you have in front...

Alcohol abuse is a serious problem for teens in our country. It has been well publicized that drinking for the sake of getting drunk has many negative consequences for both adults and teens. Some of these negative consequences include loss of job, homicide, addiction, driving while intoxicated, and spouse abuse. Alcoholism is not merely a problem for adults. It would surprise many if they were to learn that alcohol is the most commonly abused drug in America among teens today. Even though the alcohol consumption of our nation has been declining for years, the increasing number of minors who drink is getting out of hand. Today there are close to 3 million teens between the ages of 13 and 17 who are...

What do you do when you are in the midst of a custody dispute and the psychologist, paid by the abuser, leaves out important facts and distorts others to support the bias of the paying party? I'm asked this question over and over by battered women in custody battles. And each time I witness what these women are subjected to, I'm in awe. Battered Women and Legal Psychiatric Abuse They think they are at the mercy of these high-paid psychologists. They know from the core of their being that what has been said is improper. They feel betrayed by authority vested in these mental health professionals and the justice system that they represent. They struggle with their visions of the implications of the...

Often someone looks at a family member, friend or loved one and wonders if their drinking may be out of control? Though the person cared about may say that their drinking is just social and to relax, doubts may persist. There are three categories for those who drink alcohol which are social drinkers, abusers and those who are addicted. Social drinkers often drink during gathers like weddings, birthday parties, sport games, and other family or peer gatherings. Some people at social gatherings may get out of control and drink excessively. They may be responsible enough to have a designated driver, but there are many who feel that they are "okay" to drive. Even if they've only drank a couple of drinks...

For those who wonder at the incidence of violence among school-age children, consider the following idea: Kids learn by example and by repetition. The abundant violence depicted in television programming, movies, music, and video games provides values and behaviors for kids to model and practice. More than that, they offer opportunities for kids to witness or practice (via video games) violent behavior without consequences. Frequent exposure to portrayals of violence desensitizes kids to the impact of violence. Violence then become acceptable, perhaps even expected and "cool". Oddly, examples of compassionate behavior, wisdom, and intelligence are far rarer in the entertainment media than those of...

Ever imagine finding ways to leave your spouse even when you really don't want to? You may have fleeting moments of thinking that leaving could change your whole life. Some people have actually done that. The great majority never make a move to help with making their improved life a real possibility. Many lack the will to look into, learn, and, after that, take action, and therefore are still just dreaming. Wait a moment and let's reflect a little. Let's explore that a bit. For you to consider leaving, here are three reasons why you should leave your spouse even when you don't think you want to. First off, in its favor, let me point out that protection is important for every individual. When should...

When I asked my husband to leave and went into group counselling for abused women, one of the things that most struck me was the counsellor saying: "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference". At the time it was a revelation to me. The point is that hate is simply the reverse side of the coin to love. You cannot hate someone unless you have very strong feelings about them. When you are consumed with hurt and rage hatred may feel like a more constructive outlet than love. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Sometimes it is helpful, in the short term, to vocalize all the things that drove you mad about your partner. The downside is, of course, that you remain just as focused, even fixated, on...

So I'm surfing the internet today when I come across a video on TMZ showing Chris Brown pleading "not guilty" in court to the charges of beating Rihanna. Now seeing as how everybody has seen the pictures of Rihanna bruised and battered this defense seems ludicrous. But then I stopped and thinked for a moment.......Why shouldn't Chris Brown plead not guilty if Rihanna isn't going to come forward and say that he did it? If Rihanna was an unemployed housewife with kids to feed I could understand her being timid about not coming forward to testify. It's a known fact that women will endure anything to ensure the well being of their kids. So if a woman thinks that she won't be able to find shelter for her...

A few years ago we took our daughter and her friends to Imire Game Park, near the small town of Marondera in Zimbabwe, for her birthday party. It was an exhilarating day, which was capped by a game drive. We saw an interesting phenomenon when we met a herd of buffalo. This herd included a towering elephant who acted as the matriarch. This elephant grew up with the buffalo and thought that it is a buffalo. It protected and defended them. It refuses to associate with elephant herds. At one time a bull elephant was introduced to her for mating. They were kept in the same pen. It attacked and killed the intruder because it felt that its turf was being invaded and its authority undermined. This elephant...

Fathers battling court cases for child custody face a much tougher time winning the cases. Even when the court has become more balanced in their ruling but there is no denial there are some prejudice against men especially in custodial ruling. The court tends to favor mothers for three main reasons. The first reason, the society perceives that a child received better care from mothers. Secondly, the court tends to view fathers as independent while both mothers and child are co-dependents. Finally, fatherhood in deemed to be participatory while motherhood has natural instinct and occurrence. Although these factors are arguable but the fact has been deeply ingrained into our culture. Due to the above...

Why is it that the majority of Americans find ourself at one time or another in the middle of a lawsuit. Most of these lawsuits don't involve multi million dollars but something much more important our lives. Usually these lawsuits come in the form of Family Law matters. Failed marriages usually bring you to the courts at least once in your lifetime, but usually more then that. And if it isn't bad enough going through a divorce then you have to fight the ex spouse about child support, child visitation, spousal support, restraining orders, etc. I've seen people go back to court every year for ten years after a divorce. Someone wants more time with the dog, more child support, more visitation...

Violations of a child custody order or a visitation agreement can be serious and sometimes frightening because they might involve actions that pose a danger to the well-being of a child. If you feel that your child is involved in such a violation, you have several options both under civil and criminal law. Regardless of whether the remedy is sought under civil or criminal law, the other party is still entitled to notice and a proper hearing. Civil Remedies Civil remedies usually involve some form of monetary reimbursement or court order decreeing that the other spouse do something or refrain from doing something. Unlike criminal remedies, civil remedies are aimed at alleviating the wrongdoings...

first watched this movie I liked it but didn’t like the ending. It felt like “oh god, not another lazy writer who wants us to finish telling their story to ourselves”. But a day later the movie kept playing in my mind. I just couldn’t let it go. Eventually it began to all make sense. I couldn’t believe the depth of the messages that began to reveal themselves the more I processed the movie. One thing that threw me off was the feeling that the story was about just the woman and possibly the young man; until I realized the story was actually about the woman and her husband. I believe the young man was a younger, nicer version of her husband and represents how he was when they were...

After seeing your book cover or hearing your book title, the first thing readers do is pick up the book and flip it over to read the back cover, or if they are online, they will look for the product description, also called a summary or synopsis (not to be confused with a chapter by chapter summary a writer would submit to a potential literary agent or publisher). We'll refer to it as a "summary" here because it needs to be a description of your book that is relatively short. About 250 words or less. The problem with too many books is that they don't have proper summaries on the back. Many authors make the mistake of putting solely their biographies on their back covers. For example, I have seen...

Every relationship has its own unspoken "rules" by which both people fulfill particular roles in relation to one another. In the best relationships these rules just naturally develop and both people feel comfortable and happy with the security and predictability of the relationship. In the worst of relationships there is a struggle for control or one person wants to stifle and control the other person's free will. This can happen in a relationship before marriage, during marriage, or in a second or third relationship after divorce. What everyone in a relationship needs to understand is that control does not equal love. If a partner demands to know who you are talking with on the phone, where you are...

The 'Joys' of Being A Victim · Being 'different' - "I'm not the same as other people because I am going though so much more sh*te." Being different lends itself to the "Yes, but..." syndrome: "because I'm different, nothing you say applies to me. My suffering sets me apart." · Being 'special' - other people don't have the same intensity of emotion (read misery) that I do. This makes me special. · Having it harder than other people. Well, you have, haven't you? It's easy to look around and see other people who have some support or saving grace that you don't have? Whether or not this belief is true, is it useful? How does holding this belief help you to move your life...

What do you understand in the heart -- "Today is the first day of the rest of your life?" Is if your lifestyle of sensual enjoyment or spirituality. Freedom of thought is your conscience, your real life and the power of the mind and always refreshing. When you live with thoughts that today is the first day of the rest of your life, you're free of many thoughts of past and future. What you understand in heart of "Today is the first day of the rest of your life?", so is your style of life of sensual enjoyment or spirituality.  Freedom of thought is your consciousness, your real life and the power of the mind and always refreshing. When you live with thoughts that today is the first day of the rest of...

Unless you've been living in a cave somewhere you can't help but notice in the local paper or on the evening news that women are the targets of violence by a substantial margin over men-9 to 1 to be exact. And that's here in the United States. In other parts of the world it is much worse. It is just an unfortunate fact of life that women are at some point in their lives going to be subjects of a crime. It can be anything from rape, domestic violence, assault, robbery, street crime, home invasions, or even carjacking. The sooner that women realize this the sooner they can start preparing to defend themselves adequately. And I'm not trying to put fear in everybody-just sound the warning bell. Knowing...

You and your spouse have decided to divorce. You have minor children, under the age of 18 or 19 and still in high school. What do you do about the children? Do not hesitate to contact child custody lawyers. Orange County, California family law attorneys all deal with child custody. Get an attorney’s advice from the beginning of a divorce proceeding, because what you set as precedent may be difficult to change later. In other words, what you set up for custody and visitation during the interim of a divorce may be what the Court deems is best for the children. The Court may use the “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it,” theory and just leave the custody and visitation as it is. It is in...

"What I don't understand about her/him is she/he doesn't see things as I do." Sound familiar? It doesn't really matter what side of the fence you're on, we can all relate to this comment. Sometimes we get so fixated in our wanting the other person to have or adopt our thinking that we fail to appreciate theirs. In abusive relationship therapy, we grow our capacity to embrace each other's perspective as it is, simply because it is, irrespective of how much or how little it matches ours. A primary focus in the intervention is the validation of each person's point of view. Opinions in Abusive Relationships In controlling relationships, we find that the empowered party holds the expectation that his (or...

Workplace Violence is on the rise and I believe that in the next decade it will explode exponentially unless we are proactive! The most difficult type of workplace violence to prevent comes from individuals not affiliated with the company who have some grievance or grudge against the company itself or someone working for the organization. Unless a friend, neighbour or family member notices telltale warning signs and reports them it is almost impossible to prevent random violence of this type. The easiest types of violent acts to prevent are those from individuals working for the company. I say easiest only if you raise your awareness level, look for, recognize and report the warning signs that are...

As many of you know, this month begins with a new moon total solar eclipse. Eclipses bring changes, and August will definitely be a month of changes. Some of the changes will be good, some will be bad, and many of the hurtles in front of us this month will be difficult. The eclipse on Friday, August 1st, in Leo will light a fire under many of us. We may want something, and we will want it now! It will be a great weekend for doing things, and staying in touch with others. By Monday August 4th Venus and Pluto will be turning on the charm and we will be ready for romance and friends for the next couple of days. But, Mars and Uranus will be beginning a standoff that will last through Thursday, and that...

May begins absolutely grand, literally. On May 1 there will be a grand trine between Venus, Saturn, and Pluto. A grand trine is the most positive aspect in astrology, and this grand trine should bring a general feeling of well being in love and financial matters. Things could get a little rough on Friday and Saturday, May 2 and 3, with Mercury and Saturn fighting with one another while making their own changes. There could be problems with authority figures, and verbal abuse could be out of control. Abuse starts in our minds, so if we don't beat ourselves up in our thoughts, then we are much less likely to abuse others. Catch those thoughts quickly and don't let them take control. By Sunday...

1> Abuse of any kind is difficult to deal with. Types of verbal abuse can include the following: ·Does your loved one ignore your feelings? ·Is he disrespectful? ·Does he withhold approval, appreciation or affection? ·Does he walk away without answering you? ·Does he criticize you, call you names or yell at you? ·Does he humiliate you in public or in the privacy of your home? ·Does he tell you that you are too sensitive? ·Does he destroy furniture or punch holes in the walls? These are some of the signs, but there are many more that may be observed. Abuse is difficult to deal with if the abuser has Alzheimer’s disease since the abuser can’t really control it. If a person with...

      With our economy at its worst, people loosing their jobs, the rate of divorce increases. Legal fees are high and people don't want to go broke ending a relationship so the number of people serving as their own lawyers is on the rise across the country.  Cases are no longer limited to uncontested divorces and small claims. Even people embroiled in child custody cases, potentially devastating lawsuits and bankruptcies are representing themselves, legal experts say. The trend has resulted in court systems clogged with filings from people unfamiliar with legal procedure. Moreover, some pro se litigants, as they are known, are making mistakes with expensive and long-lasting consequences...

Have you ever wondered why women suffering from verbal or physical abuse stay with their abusive partners? I can't speak for all women who put up with such treatment, but I can speak from my own experience and it's not as simple as just leaving. I was verbally and emotionally abused for around 9 years by my former husband. It wasn't constant, but it was enough to push my self esteem to such a low level that many times I wondered if I would be better off dead. What a horrible way to live! So why did I stay? There were a number of reasons (and yes, if you may question my intelligence here!) which I will cover now: 1. I felt I had nowhere to go (despite the fact that my parents lived nearby and would...

The crime of violence against another person is called assault. While some jurisdictions consider assault to be actual violence some other jurisdictions refer to the threat of violence as assault while the actual act of violence is called battery. There is a difference between simple assaults and aggravated assaults. While simple assaults do not involve aggravation like use of deadly weapons etc. aggravated assaults do so. It may be noted that assault often includes not only violence but also any physical contact with some other person without their consent. Usually assault is treated as a misdemeanor. However, aggravated assault may be treated as a felony. Assault involving a law enforcement...

Being served with California divorce papers can put most people in a panic. Maybe you already knew your marriage was headed for the rocks, or maybe you thought everything was fine. Either way, it's an unpleasant experience. If this has happened to you this article will help you get up to speed fast. The first thing you need to know is that you only have 30 days to respond if you want to participate in the divorce, unless you can reason with your spouse and get him or her to agree in writing differently. When you are served with California divorce papers, what you receive are two official documents: the Summons (California divorce form FL-110) and a copy of the Petition (California divorce form FL...

Oklahoma Divorce Records is one of the most in-demand public documents nowadays. Behind its popularity are the many reasons why most individuals opt to search for this information. First of all, the details that it contains enable you to easily conduct an investigation regarding a certain person. It's also useful for you to double-check the background of your future spouse. Some individuals also use this for negative purposes. Various employers can also take advantage of the information that this account reveals. It's a big help when it comes to employment screening. It makes sure that you can select the best people to hire or to promote. Naturally, these files are public property which basically...

No. Won't work. Never happen. Can't be done. Bad idea. Too radical. Irresponsible. Stupid. How many of us - even the positive, happy and upbeat among us - let this negative self-talk run our own lives? Most of our negative "programs" work subconsciously, affecting our outlook on work and life. With attention and deliberation, however, we can "reprogram" ourselves with productive self-talk. As with most worthwhile things in life, this is simple - but not always easy. Fortunately, once we break into that level of awareness, we're better able to recognize those programs and work with them. Many of these programs were installed when we were kids. The chubby girl sees herself as a fat adult, for example...

After all the things that people do in getting married, most if not all of these marriages just end up to divorce. Hence, divorce records are getting large in number. As with the State of Illinois, its divorce rate is also getting high compared to other states. That is why among all its vital records such as Marriage, Birth, and Death records, Illinois Divorce Records is somehow difficult to obtain from the government departments. The Division of Vital Records at the Illinois Department of Public Health is the place to look for these vital records in Illinois. The said office can only provide you with that verification of the facts on those divorce cases that occurred in the state of Illinois dated...

Definitely, divorce records are not something to speak of proudly unless under the influence of alcohol and the like. However, technology has made people more transparent, with the internet you can find anything that you wish to search for. You can no longer be fooled or kept in the dark if you care to check. Texas divorce records are kept by both the state government, and the county authorities. Although these divorce records are personal information, they are nonetheless considered public records. This means that anyone from the public can view and access this information as long as certain procedures are complied with. Basic information you can gain from a divorce record include status, names...

We've all heard the words "you're in contempt" on television and in the movies. What does it really mean to be in contempt and are there actual consequences for this action? When a judge says you are in contempt, they are stating you are in contempt of court and actually issue an order stating you have disobeyed a direct order given by the court. This order can also be given when you have been considered to be disrespectful during a court hearing or trial. The two most common behaviors for this court order are showing disregard toward the judge or by bad behavior disturbing the court trial. Contempt can be classified two ways. The first is called direct contempt and results from the contempt...

Most weeks, I receive emails the gist of which is: "how do I get out, when I don't know where to go, what to do and feel utterly devoid of resources?" What do you do when know you need to bring about huge changes in your life and the mere thought is enough to paralyse you? Someone once famously said: "You do what you can, from where you are, with what you have." No more and no less: what you can, from where you are with what you have, however great or small that may be right now. It doesn't matter. You can't know how little it may take to effect the change that will tun your life around. And you trust. You start to trust in the nature of change. You may have reached the limits of what you know...

Enough is enough. At some point in life, each one of us achieves a point of 'enough is enough'! This is the point of Zero Tolerance which forces us to take a decision about changing our life. Have you reached that point yet? I did. A couple of months ago. Up to that point I had very much given up control of my life to external circumstances. I was treating 'life' as if it were the 'master' and I was its 'servant': jumping to address every issue that came my way, regardless of what I was busy with at the moment or what I had planned to do during that time. If this is the state of life you are finding yourself in, listen to me: having what Stephen Covey calls the 'locus of control' of your life...